28 Jul

Your Captain Might Be A Redneck If… Your Captain Migh

Your Captain Might Be A Redneck If…
Your Captain Might Be A Redneck If…

Your shuttlecraft has been up on blocks for over a month

He paints flames and a NRA sticker on the warp nacelles

You have a shuttle called ‘Billy Joe Bob‘

He refers to Klingons as ‘Critters‘

He refers to Photon Torpedoes as ‘Popguns‘

He has the sensor array repaired with a bent coathanger and aluminum foil

There is a stuffed possum in the Ready Room

He installs a set of bullhorns on the front of the saucer section

He says ‘Got your ears on, good buddy‘ instead of ‘open hailing frequencies‘

He resigned his command because he always wanted to own a fireworks stand

He hangs fuzzy dice over the viewscreen

He rewires his communicator into his belt buckle

He replicates items from the Graceland gift shop

The primary colour of the Starship is ‘bondo‘

He keeps a six-pack under his command chair and a gun rack above it

He says ‘Yee-Ha!‘ instead of ‘E‘gage‘