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  You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
  . . . you were acquitted for murdering your first wife after she threw out your Elvis 45’s.



. . . you think watching professional wrestling is foreplay.



. . . your front porch collapses and four dogs get killed.



. . . you no longer drink wine ever since the screw cap got caught up your nose.



. . . you think that Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.



. . . that billboard that says, “Say No To Crack” reminds you to pull up your jeans.



. . . your wife’s hairdo was ever ruined by a ceiling fan.



. . . you go to your family reunions looking for a date.



. . . you think a Volvo is part of a woman’s anatomy.



. . . your Junior/Senior Prom had a Daycare.



. . . you’ve got more than three cousins named “Bubba”.



. . . you have an Elvis Jell-O mold.



. . . taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen.



. . . you’ve got more than one other named “Darryl”.



. . . you ever won first prize in a tobacco spittin’ contest.



. . . on Thanksgiving Day you have to decide which pet to eat.



. . . you’ve ever come home and found crime scene tape across your front porch.



. . . your favorite entree is Spam barbecued on the grill.



. . . your child’s first words were, “Attention K-Mart shoppers!”.



. . . your idea of high-quality entertainment is a six-pack and a bug-zapper.



. . . your whole family is Democrats except little Mary. She got to readin’.



. . . you think the last words to The Star Spangled Banner are “Gentlemen, start your engines.”



. . . you kissed your own wife at midnight at the New Year’s Eve party.

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  Poster: Admin
  Email: admin@jokes1234.com
 
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