Its All About Jokes

. . . your idea of summer vacation is running through a sprinkler in the front yard.

. . . you’ve ever named a child for a good dog.

. . . there are four pairs of pants and two squirrels hanging from your clothesline.

. . . your local newspaper has a front-page feature called “Cow of the Week.”

. . . you don’t need a clean shirt to go to work.

. . . you bum a dip from your mother.

. . . you have the entire WWF slurpie cup collection proudly displayed on a shelf in your trailer.

. . . your favorite mixed drink includes Yoo-Hoo.

. . . you think “Hooked on Phonics” is a fishing show.

. . . you’ve ever attended a dance at the bus station.

. . . your guest bedroom is also your tool shed.

. . . you spend three days in line for Reba tickets.

. . . you can’t keep your cats out of your car at night because the interior smells like fried chicken.

. . . you think French onion dip is an exotic tobacco product.

. . . you drive more than thirty miles to save money on a pack of cigarettes.

. . . you spend most of your time in the laundromat so you can watch TV.

. . . grass is growing in the floor boards of your car.

. . . the highlight of your day is finding the prize in a Cracker Jack box.

. . . the auto junkyard calls you to get spare parts.

. . . you own a flamingo with buckshot holes in it.

. . . your third-grade class has a no-smoking section.

. . . your wife left you for last year’s winner of the hog-calling contest.

. . . your flashlight holds more than four batteries.

. . . it took the smartest kid in your 6th-grade class three times to pass his driving test.

. . . you cut your wedding cake with a chain saw.

. . . you cut your toenails in front of company.

. . . a woman says she’s game, so you shoot her.

. . . your wife has a beer belly and you find it attractive.

. . . you ask for the honeymoon suite at the Motel 6.

. . . you hear a siren and your first instinct is to hide.

. . . you use a bedsheet as a sofa cover.

. . . you use the shaving cream made for tough beards . . . and so does your husband.

. . . you regularly see kinfolks on “America’s Most Wanted.”

. . . you refuse to slide in softball because you don’t want to crush your cigarettes.

. . . the emergency room nurse knows everyone in your family by name.

. . . your car has more than two exhaust pipes.