Its All About Jokes

. . . you repaint your pink flamingo every spring . . . but not your house.

. . . you have ever carried leftovers home in your handbag.

. . . you think an oil change involves a comb and a bottle of Vitalis.

. . . you whistle to get the attention of your waiter or waitress.

. . . your college graduation ceremony includes parallel parking an 18-wheeler.

. . . you think ribs come from Europe.

. . . your toothbrush is a hand-me-down.

. . . the nearest liquor store is brewing in your basement.

. . . your Friday nights consist of lots of Budwieser and a mechanical bull.

. . . you have used a potato peeler to remove a corn.

. . . the Marlboro man is your idol.

. . . you see a sign that says “dip in road” and you stop to see what flavor it is.

. . . you think a canopy goes under the bed instead of over it.

. . . you’ve ever had a conversation about truck tires that lasted more than an hour.

. . . you’ve ever fished from over a fence.

. . . you have ever taken lawn furniture to a drive-in.

. . . your state senator is willingly photographed with no shirt and a leather vest on a Harley, but refuses to take a Breathalyzer test.

. . . you think virgin wool comes from ugly sheep.

. . . you keep catfish in your aquarium.

. . . you think truffles are a brand of potato chips.

. . . you’ve ever bought a used cap.

. . . you know all the verses to the “Hee Haw” song.

. . . your car breaks down on the side of the road and you never go back to get it.

. . . your greatest accomplishment is the 10-pound turnip you grew.

. . . any of your hobbies require dogs and a lantern.

. . . you think people who have electricity are uppity.

. . . you know how to milk a goat.

. . . you’ve ever committed a crime with a lawn mower.

. . . your two best friends are named Skeeter and Possum.

. . . you’ve ever hollered, “You kids quit playin’ on that sheet metal.”

. . . your idea of water conservation is moving your Saturday night bath to every other Saturday night.