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You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . you eat your daily road-kill out of the same dirty bowl every night. (from Robinsaponaro)
. . . you bring home from school a certificate as “The Best Reader in the Fourth Grade“ for three years in a row.
. . . your pick-up has four new tires and none of them are the same size. (from Gaylene Cooper)
. . . you go to the bank for a loan and the loan officer asks to see the stock you have listed as collateral, so you bring in the three hogs you bought last month at the auction. (from Gaylene Cooper)
. . . your life savings is buried in your back yard. (from TEDMARIEJ)
. . . you walk the ends off your jeans instead of hemming them. (from Loki, the friendly maniac)
. . . you thought the Y2K Bug was a new species of insect. (from Mdebel22486)
. . . you thought the Sega Dreamcast was a new fishing rod. (from Mdebel22486)
. . . you buy your china as a grocery store special every week. (from MIRALLY)
. . . your neighbor uses left-over house paint to paint his car. (from JAY W.GUYER)
. . . you use mason jars to make lamps. (from JAY W.GUYER)
. . . your grandma gives you a wedding present wrapped in christmas paper. (from JAY W.GUYER)
. . . you can see all your family members when you‘re in your own bed. (from JAY W.GUYER)
. . . your dad guts one of the old TV‘s for a another knick-knack shelf. (from JAY W.GUYER)
. . . you think beef stroganoff is when the bull is playing with himself. (from EJASpfld)
. . . the other 13 trailers out back of yours belong to your children and their families. (from Adrian Everett)
. . . all you want for Christmas is deer pee. (from Nick English)
. . . your 2-year old has more teeth than you do. (from Lane007Fan)
. . . your dog can smoke a cigarette. (from Lane007Fan)
. . . you think “Old Yeller“ refers to your brother‘s tooth. (from Lane007Fan)
. . . you have a house that‘s mobile and 16 cars that aren‘t. (from Lane007Fan)
. . . you have more than 4 vehicles up on blocks in your yard. (from Lane007Fan)
. . . you buy a padded headboard to practice safe sex. (from Vern Dutta)
. . . you spray-painted your dog hunters orange to, “make him look more decent like.“ (from Dave Simons)
. . . you‘ve been on TV more than 5 times describing what the tornado sounded like. (from Bak2525)
. . . your best laundry bag is made by Hefty. (from MARANN77)
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