28 Jul

You Might Be A Redneck If . . .

. . . your Christmas tree has a deer stand in it.

. . . when describing your kids, you use the phrase “dumb as a brick.”

. . . your favorite cap says, “Babymaker.”

. . . you’ve ever done your Christmas shopping at a truck stop.

. . . you stand under the mistletoe at Christmas and wait for Granny and cousin Sue-Ellen to walk by.

. . . you get Odor-Eaters as a Christmas present.

. . . you are allowed to bring your dog to work.

. . . chiggers are included on your list of top five hygiene concerns.

. . . the flood history of your area can be seen on your living room walls.

. . . your wife has been involved in more than six barroom brawls in the last two weeks.

. . . your wife has a set of earrings that you use as a fishing lure.

. . . you fish coins out of public fountains.

. . . your Grandma keeps a spit cup on the ironing board. (from Carl Elston)

. . . your neighbor has a refridgerator on his front porch stocked with beer so he won‘t have to get off the sofa to welcome friends. (from ThomasChargers)

. . . you put a 5 dollar bill in a pop machine. (from SEG5270164)

. . . you steal money from the Salvation Army buckets. (from Jethro Bob)

. . . you have ever been evicted from a place you own. (from JNie106388)

. . . you live in El Reno, Oklahoma. (from RGoeri1036)

. . . you stare at a can of orange juice, because it says “concentrate.“ (from Elizabeth Morales)

. . . you take your wife to your mistress‘s wedding. (from Poochy Lady and Buzz^1)

. . . you use channel locks for a nose hair trimmer. (from Scott Gentry)

. . . it took you twenty years to figure out how to add single digit numbers. (from Renisja)

. . . you spit in the skillet to check the temperature. (from Jrf5664)

. . . your father is in the same grade you are. (from Jrf5664)

. . . the best 5 years of your life were in the second grade. (from Bnsmxpd)

. . . your richest relative invites you over to take the wheels off his new trailer. (from Bnsmxpd)

. . . you‘re on your third marriage and still have the same in-laws. (from Loubrain)

. . . your 14 year old daughter smokes at the dinner table – in front of her two kids. (from Loubrain)

. . . on the 4th of July you spend it at the waffle house beside a drunk while waiting to get your pastor out of jail (true stroy). (from BugJhnny)

. . . a full tank of gas doubles the value of your truck. (from sobeerman)

. . . you win the lottery and buy a double wide trailor. (from Scottk1000)

. . . your wife is so ugly you take her everywhere you go so you never have to kiss her good-bye. (from sobeerman)

. . . you have to use a ladder to get in your truck. (from sobeerman)

. . . you ever fly a kite with a fishing pole. (from LOOKWEBRSMT)

. . . you wear flannel shirts no matter what season it is. (from MEllin4266)

. . . you have more than 5 fast food bags in your car. (from MEllin4266)

. . . Rocky Top is your favorite song (for all the Vols fans!). (from MEllin4266)

. . . your divorce granted from first wife and your license to wed to your second wife are in the same newspaper. (from Karen Ray)