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  You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
  . . . you’ve ever taken reading material into an airplane restroom.



. . . you’ve ever gotten an official letter of recognition from a tobacco or beer company.



. . . you vacuum the sheets instead of washing them.



. . . you’ve ever valet parked a snow plow.



. . . you’ve ever stood in line to have your picture made with a freak of nature.



. . . you break wind in public and blame it on your kid.



. . . you’ve ever had to siphon gas from your lawn mower to put into your truck.



. . . you’ve ever paid for a six-pack of beer with pennies.



. . . there are hubcap wind chimes anywhere on your block.



. . . you have a Bud Light pool-table light hanging over your dining room table.



. . . the strongest smell in your house is butane.



. . . you think paprika is a Third World country.



. . . you ask the preacher, “How’s it hanging?”



. . . you go to a stock car race and don’t need a program.



. . . you have a bumper sticker that says, “My mother’s an honor student” at the local junior high.



. . . you think potted meat on a saltine is an hors d’oeuvre.



. . . you played the banjo in your high school band.



. . . the velvet paintings in your house were bought from an art dealer on the side of the highway.



. . . you have no hubcaps on your car because you’re using them to feed your hunting dogs.



. . . you can’t visit relatives without getting mud on your tires.



. . . your mother doesn’t put shoes on to go grocery shopping.



. . . you’ve ever been blacklisted by a bowling alley.



. . . you honest-to-God think women are turned on by animal noises and seductive tongue gestures.



. . . anyone in your family has ever purchased peroxide in a gallon container.



. . . you don’t think baseball players spit and scratch too much.



. . . you’ve ever been to a wedding reception at the Waffle House.



. . . your dog has ever brought home something that you cooked for dinner.



. . . you owe a taxidermist more than your monthly income.



. . . you’ve ever caught bugs just so you could throw them in the bug zapper.



. . . you have a Hefty Bag for a passenger-side window.



. . . you’ve ever hollered, “Rock the house, Bubba!” during a piano recital.



. . . your kids’ favorite bedtime story is “Curious George and the High Voltage Fence.”



. . . your watchband is wider than any book you’ve ever read.

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  Poster: Admin
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