Its All About Jokes

Teacher To Sardar: If U Had 1000 rs In One Pocket And 1000 Rs In Another Pocket,What Will You Think?

Sardar : Yar main Kithay Abba Di Pent Tay Ni Pehen Litti ..

A man was brought in to the hospital intensive care ward, put in a bed, tubes coming out everywhere. A week later, another man was admitted, in a similar condition.

Both lay there, machines pinging, tubes poking etc. a couple more weeks before one of them had the strength to raise his hand and point to himself and say, “Bengali.“

The other patient signaled he had heard, raised his own hand, and said, “Punjabi.“

This act tired them out so badly it was a week before the first summoned up the strength to say, “Calcutta.“

Other replied in a weedy frail voice, “Ludhiana.“

Once more, the strain was too much for them both and they passed out. Days passed before the first patient managed to again point to himself and say, “Asit.“

Replied the other, “Santa.“

A few hours later, Asit managed to point to himself again and rasp out weakly, “Cancer.“

Santa responded, “Leo.“

Having lost his donkey, Santa got down to his knees and started thanking God.

A passerby saw him and asked, “Your donkey is missing; what are you thanking God for ?“

Santa replied “I am thanking Him for seeing to it that I was not riding the donkey at that time, otherwise I would have been missing too.“

An Englishman, an American and Santa are called upon to test a lie detector.

The Englishman says: “I think I can empty 20 bottles of beer“.

BUZZZZZZ, goes the lie detector.

“Ok“, he says, “10 bottles“.

And the machine is silent.

The American says: “I think I can eat 15 hamburgers“.

BUZZZZZZ, goes the lie detector.

“Allright, 8 hamburgers“.

And the machine is silent.

The Santa says: “I think…“,

BUZZZZZZ goes the machine.

Santa had been out for a few days due to ill health. At work Banta asked him how he was feeling?

“I‘m better, thanks. You know, it was a wonderful experience.“ he replied.

“Wonderful? How can the cold and fever be wonderful?“ Banta asked Santa in stunned disbelief.

“Well, I learned that my wife, Jeeto, really loves me. You know that whenever the mailman came by or a delivery man headed toward the door, she ran out to meet them? I could hear her excitedly saying ‘My husband is home! My husband is home!‘“

Santa and his girlfriend were out driving one day. He noticed that she kept looking at him and smiling.

Then she leaned over and whispered in his ear, “Can you drive using only one hand ?“

“I sure can“, Santa grinned, thinking his luck was in.

“Good“, she said, “then wipe your nose; it`s running

Santa walks into a bar and says, “Bartender, give me a shot of the strongest thing you‘ve got.“

He takes the shot glass and knocks it back. He then asks for another one and knocks that on back, too. After about five or six of these the bartender decides that he‘s going to cut the guy off.

Bartender says to Santa, “Hey, what‘s wrong with you? Did you have a fight with your wife or something?“

Santa sighs and says, “Yeah, after the fight she said that she wasn‘t going to speak to me for a whole month!“

The bartender, puzzled, says, “Well, what‘s wrong with that?“

Santa replied, “Well today‘s the last day!“

Santa was delighted with the way the painter had done all the work on his house.

“You did a great job.“ he said and handed the man a check.

“Also, in order to thank-you, here`s an extra Five hundred rupees to take the Mrs out to dinner and a movie.“

Later that night, the doorbell rang and it was the painter.

Thinking the painter had forgotten something Santa asked, “What`s the matter, did you forget something?“

“Nope.“ replied the painter. “I`m just here to take your Mrs out to dinner and a movie like you asked.“