Its All About Jokes

Santa and Banta fly to the south sea islands to study the natives. They go to two adjacent islands and set to work. A few months later Santa takes a boat over to the other island to see how Banta is doing. When he gets there, he finds Banta standing among a group of natives.

“Greetings! How is it going?” says Santa.

“Wonderful!” says Banta, “I have discovered an important fact about the local language! Watch!”

He points at a palm tree and says, “What is that?”

The natives, in unison, say, “Umbalo-gong!”

He then points at a rock and says, “And that?”

The natives again intone, “Umbalo-gong!”

“You see!”, says the beaming Banta, “They use the SAME word for ‘rock’ and for ‘palm tree’!”

“That is truly amazing!” says the astonished Santa, “On the other island, the same word means ‘index finger’!”

Santa enters a store that sell curtains.

He tells the salesman, “I would like to buy a pair of pink curtains.”

The salesman assured him that they had a large selection of pink curtains. He showed him several patterns, but Santa seemed to be having a hard time choosing.

Finally, he selects a lovely pink floral print.

The salesman asked what size curtains he needed.

Santa replies, “Fifteen inches.”

“Fifteen inches?” asked the salesman. “That sounds very small, what room are they for?”

Santa tells him that they aren’t for a room, they are for his computer monitor.

The surprised salesman replies, “But, sir, computers do not have curtains!”

Santa says, “Hellllooooooooo……..I’ve got Windows!”

Santa is checking out of a hotel when suddenly he has to take a shit real bad. The toilet in his room doesn’t flush so he runs to the lobby to use the men’s room but none of the stalls are free. He runs back to his room ,uproots a plant and shits in the pot .Then he puts the plant back and leaves. A week later he gets a postcard from the hotel that says” Dear Sir…all is forgiven…..just tell us…where is it?”

On his first day on the job, the trainee dialled the kitchen and shouted into the phone:

“Get me a F***ING cup of coffee, quickly!“

The voice from the other side responded: “You fool, you‘ve dialled the wrong extension! Do you know who you‘re talking to?“

“No,“ replied the trainee.

“It‘s the Managing Director of the company, idiot!“

The trainee shouted back: “And do you know who YOU are F***ING talking to, you F***ING idiot?“

“No!“ replied the Managing Director indignantly.

“Thank F**K for that!“ replied the trainee and slammed down the phone.

Taxi driver to Santa: sardarji petrol khatam ho
gaya hai gaddi aage nahin ja sakati.
Santa: koi gal nahin GAADI PICHHE LELO . .

Banta selling Parashut:Plane se kudo Button Dabao Aur aap zamin pe
safely land!
Custmer: Agar Parashut na khula to?
Banta: O G paise wapas

Santa :-Yaar Banta Dr. ne kaha mujhe AIDS hai. Yeh AIDS hoti kya hai?

Banta Singh:-
A – Ab
I – Iss
D – Duniya se
S – Sat shri akal.

Santa and Banta in a football stadium..
Santa : Paaji, yeh log ball se kya kar rahe hain?
Banta : goal kar rahe hain!!!
Santa :‘lekin paaji ball toh pehle se gol hain , aur kitni gol
Karenge?‘

Santa To Banta:
oye tu her SMS mujhey tu duo bar q bhejta hay?

Banta:
vo is lia k ager tujhey ek forward kerna ho tuo doosra teray paas
rehna chaiyeh na