Its All About Jokes

. . . people come to your door mistakenly thinking you have an auto salvage business.

. . . your house plants aren’t in pots.

. . . you think the stock market has a fence around it.

. . . you wear a tank top to your mother’s funeral.

. . . your front yard looks like a Toys R Us after a tornado.

. . . you think a chain saw is a musical instrument.

. . . everything you won at the fair is hanging from your rearview mirror.

. . . you’ve ever accepted an invitation written on a bathroom wall.

. . . making beer is a neighborhood project.

. . . you clean your fingernails with a stick.

. . . you’ve ever gotten in fist fight in a laundromat over a dryer.

. . . there is a restraining order on your pets.

. . . you secretly get your firewood from your neighbor’s yard.

. . . you wipe your feet before you walk out of your house.

. . . your 5-year-old can rebuild a carburetor.

. . . your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.

. . . you take a nap with at least one hand tucked inside your pants.

. . . your best jacket has an advertisement on the back of it.

. . . your car insurance deductible is higher than the value of your car.

. . . in preparation for your upcoming wedding, your register your Tupperware pattern.

. . . you are famous for your impression of a dog choking on a chicken bone.

. . . you consider tattooing a do-it-yourself job.

. . . one of your fantasies involves a bulldozer.

. . . your wife’s best shoes have steel toes.

. . . your picture is on the wall of more than three bait stores.

. . . your favorite NASCAR souvenir is the result of a wreck.

. . . you buy a police scanner to keep up with your relatives.

. . . you’ve ever used a laundromat as a mailing address.

. . . you’ve been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

. . . your most expensive shoes have numbers on the heels.

. . . you’ve ever gotten carbon monoxide poisoning while driving your vehicle.

. . . your screen door has no screen.

. . . there are more dishes in your sink than in your cabinets.

. . . the receptionist is responsible for checking the rat traps at your place of business.

. . . your family reunion is sponsored by a beer company.

. . . your church has a “happy hour.”

. . . you’ve ever shot someone over a mall parking space.

. . . there is trophy in your house with the word “spitting” on it.

. . . you open beer bottles with your belt buckle.

. . . you’ve ever filled your deer tag on a golf course.

. . . you tell Grandpa he has something in his teeth and he takes them out to see.

. . . you use the “O” on the stop sign in front of your house to sight in your new rifle.

. . . you punish your children by taking away their chewing tobacco.

. . . you think every bottle of wine comes with a screw cap.

. . . you wear your softball uniform even on the days you’re not playing.

. . . your pickup truck used to be a car.

. . . your favorite fishing lure is TNT.

. . . your dates regularly expect you to light their cigars.

. . . you stockpile pork and beans.

. . . your daddy handed out cigarettes the day you were born.

. . . you use baling wire to keep your car door closed.

. . . your mom is lighting bottle rockets with her cigarette while walking the children on Halloween.

. . . you’ve ever lost your wife in a poker game.

. . . your house feels a bit lonely when winter comes and the last fly dies.

. . . you send your kid in for treatment because you think he’s hooked on phonics.

. . . the air freshener hanging in your car lost its scent more than 5 years ago.

. . . there are more than 5 animals sleeping in your bed.

. . . your best pick-up line for women is written on your baseball cap.

. . . you had a receding hairline in the 6th grade.

. . . you think “social consciousness” means how well you can hold your liquor.

. . . you spit on your own floor.

. . . your bring a bar of soap to a public pool.

. . . you keep a pellet gun by the front door.

. . . you’ve ever participated in a burp-off.

. . . you’ve ever heckled during a eulogy.

. . . your wife puts Bean-O on everything you eat.

. . . your dog rides in the front seat and your kids ride in the back.

. . . you taught your children how to play “Pull My Finger.”

. . . you own half a pickup truck.

. . . the church social committee is afraid to meet at your house.

. . . you own a trophy that includes the words “cow chip toss” on it.

. . . you’ve ever made love on a tire swing.

. . . the first question your mother asks upon checking into the motel is, “Where’s the nearest liquor store?”

. . . you show strangers your war wound.

. . . your mailing address includes the word “holler.”

. . . the Salvation Army comes to your house and takes the wrong furniture.

. . . there are antlers nailed to the outside of your house.

. . . you fill up the bathtub just to test out a fishing lure.

. . . your Thanksgiving centerpiece has ever been prepared by a taxidermist.

. . . you own every Box Car Willie album.

. . . you refer to your dog as your youngest.

. . . you select a date’s corsage to match her tattoo.

. . . you’re over 30 and still giving other people “wedgies.”

. . . you have three first names.

. . . turning on your lights involves pulling a string.

. . . you’ve ever water-skied in your underwear.

. . . you throw a beer can out the truck window and your wife shoots it.

. . . your garbage man is confused about what stays and what goes.

. . . the hood of your truck is higher than the roof of your house.

. . . you think a dashboard is the best place to keep your hats.

. . . for your first anniversary you take your wife to dinner at the Wal-mart snack bar.

. . . you’ve ever slow danced at a Waffle House.

. . . you videotape fishing shows.

. . . you’ve ever had sex while wearing work gloves.

. . . there is more carpet on your toilet than on your floors.

. . . your wedding toast was made with a quart of Old Milwaukee.

. . . you hang pickled eggs and pop-tops from your Christmas tree.

. . . your chili’s secret ingredient comes from a bait shop.

. . . someone asks, “Where’s your bowling bag?” and you answer, “She’s at home with the kids.”

. . . your masseuse uses lard.

. . . your family’s #1 enemy is revenuers.

. . . your Christmas tree has a deer stand in it.

. . . when describing your kids, you use the phrase “dumb as a brick.”

. . . your favorite cap says, “Babymaker.”

. . . you’ve ever done your Christmas shopping at a truck stop.

. . . you stand under the mistletoe at Christmas and wait for Granny and cousin Sue-Ellen to walk by.

. . . you get Odor-Eaters as a Christmas present.

. . . you are allowed to bring your dog to work.

. . . chiggers are included on your list of top five hygiene concerns.

. . . the flood history of your area can be seen on your living room walls.

. . . your wife has been involved in more than six barroom brawls in the last two weeks.

. . . your wife has a set of earrings that you use as a fishing lure.

. . . you fish coins out of public fountains.

. . . your Grandma keeps a spit cup on the ironing board. (from Carl Elston)

. . . your neighbor has a refridgerator on his front porch stocked with beer so he won‘t have to get off the sofa to welcome friends. (from ThomasChargers)

. . . you put a 5 dollar bill in a pop machine. (from SEG5270164)

. . . you steal money from the Salvation Army buckets. (from Jethro Bob)

. . . you have ever been evicted from a place you own. (from JNie106388)

. . . you live in El Reno, Oklahoma. (from RGoeri1036)

. . . you stare at a can of orange juice, because it says “concentrate.“ (from Elizabeth Morales)

. . . you take your wife to your mistress‘s wedding. (from Poochy Lady and Buzz^1)

. . . you use channel locks for a nose hair trimmer. (from Scott Gentry)

. . . it took you twenty years to figure out how to add single digit numbers. (from Renisja)

. . . you spit in the skillet to check the temperature. (from Jrf5664)

. . . your father is in the same grade you are. (from Jrf5664)

. . . the best 5 years of your life were in the second grade. (from Bnsmxpd)

. . . your richest relative invites you over to take the wheels off his new trailer. (from Bnsmxpd)

. . . you‘re on your third marriage and still have the same in-laws. (from Loubrain)

. . . your 14 year old daughter smokes at the dinner table – in front of her two kids. (from Loubrain)

. . . on the 4th of July you spend it at the waffle house beside a drunk while waiting to get your pastor out of jail (true stroy). (from BugJhnny)

. . . a full tank of gas doubles the value of your truck. (from sobeerman)

. . . you win the lottery and buy a double wide trailor. (from Scottk1000)

. . . your wife is so ugly you take her everywhere you go so you never have to kiss her good-bye. (from sobeerman)

. . . you have to use a ladder to get in your truck. (from sobeerman)

. . . you ever fly a kite with a fishing pole. (from LOOKWEBRSMT)

. . . you wear flannel shirts no matter what season it is. (from MEllin4266)

. . . you have more than 5 fast food bags in your car. (from MEllin4266)

. . . Rocky Top is your favorite song (for all the Vols fans!). (from MEllin4266)

. . . your divorce granted from first wife and your license to wed to your second wife are in the same newspaper. (from Karen Ray)

. . . your girlfriend thinks you‘re a real gentleman because you only scratch your crotch while playing softball. (from JCol641202)

. . . you stop picking your nose in traffic long enough to wink at the girl next to you. (from JCol641202)

. . . you found your wife‘s christmas present along side the road. (from JCol641202)

. . . you think the Roman Empire has somthing to do with a cell phone. (from JCol641202)

. . . your mother kicked you out of the house because you pawned her favorite chainsaw to buy a deer tag. (from JCol641202)

. . . you have to keep a step ladder handy to open your truck door for your girlfrend. (from JCol641202)

. . . you ever been rushed to the emergency room because you swallowed your redman. (from JCol641202)

. . . your daughter gets married before you do. (from MojoDncr)

. . . when finally mowing your lawn, you find an engine block you didn‘t know was there. (from MojoDncr)

. . . you have the bail bondsman on speed dial. (from MojoDncr)

. . . you think the “Nutcracker“ is something you do on the diving board. (from MojoDncr)

. . . your excuse for missing your oldest sons grauation is, “Hell woman, you think the crappie bite like this all year?“ (from JCol641202)

. . . you hear somone mention the depression and you think they are talking about when Bubba‘s Market ran out of Skoal. (from JCol641202)

. . . you just hate getting strip searched by the guard every time you go visit your cousin Bubba. (from JCol641202)

. . . you‘ve ever asked an Amish guy on a horse and buggy if he thought he could out run your John Deer. (from JCol641202)

. . . you‘ve ever asked a priest why he‘s wearing that sissy turtleneck. (from JCol641202)

. . . your favorite event at a wedding is the spittin‘ contest. (from JCol641202)

. . . your momma makes two turkeys for Thanksgiving, one for the family and the other for the dogs. (from JCol641202)

. . . you have to camofladge your best crops when a helicopter flies over. (from JCol641202)

. . . your mother always said keep your nose clean and from this day on you pick your nose. (from Cheesyd13)

. . . you cook perogies in beer. (from Stan Konkel)

. . . you and your best friend paint flames on your car and it looks better. (from Stan Konkel)

. . . you‘ve ever returned bottles so you could buy beer with the deposit money. (from Stan Konkel)

. . . your ashtray is too full, so you use the floor. (from Stan Konkel)

. . . you use a gas can to fill up your pick up truck. (from bdk)

. . . you use dental floss to restring your banjo. (from bdk)

. . . you have a trophy from a tractor pull. (from bdk)

. . . your favorite song has the name of a truck company in it. (from bdk)

. . . you have to climb the town‘s water tower to save your sister‘s honor. (from Nan)

. . . you and your dad walk to school together because you are in the same grade. (from Nan)

. . . your dad plays “the pull my finger“ joke at family gatherings. (from Nan)

. . . you have more deer heads on your wall than family portraits. (from Russell)

. . . you go to a bar to cheer on your mother in mud wrestling. (from Russell)

. . . your pillow case doubles as your bowling bag. (from Russell)

. . . you keep your fingernails long to open you snuff can. (from Russell)

. . . you think the internet is something you use fishing. (from Russell)

. . . you have more insurance on your hunting dog than you do on your house. (from Russell)

. . . when someone asks to see your kids you show them the goats. (from Russell)

. . . you have to take out a loan to pay off the tire store. (from Russell)

. . . you ever shot a deer with a tater gun. (from Russell)

. . . you have ever worn camo to a funeral. (from Russell)

. . . your idea of home security is keeping all the guns loaded. (from Russell)

. . . you have ever been too drunk to fish. (from Russell)

. . . you‘re at a family reunion and you wear a shirt that says,“I‘m related to you!!!“ (from SeXXXyByRd)

. . . your belt buckle doubles as an I.D. (from SeXXXyByRd)

. . . you bum a smoke from your third grade kid. (from SeXXXyByRd)

. . . you know which leaf is best to use when you‘re out of toilet paper. (from SeXXXyByRd)

. . . when you brought your baby home, it slept in a dresser drawer. (from SeXXXyByRd)

. . . your halloween jack-o-lantern has more teeth than your wife. (from Benji256)

. . . you are the youngest in the family and the first to graduate. (from Shawn Bancuk)

. . . your neighbors refer to you as the pig farmers and you don‘t have any pigs. (from Shawn Bancuk)

. . . you play pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey and get four teeth kicked out. (from DNut5007)

. . . you think think the phrase “chicken out“ means one of your pets has escaped. (from DNut5007)

. . . you refer to your wife and mother-in-law as “dual air bags.“ (from DNut5007)

. . . you‘ve had a custody fight over a hunting dog. (from POOHBEARLQ)

. . . you burn your lawn instead of mowing it. (from POOHBEARLQ)

. . . you bring a video camera to a funeral. (from POOHBEARLQ)

. . . you have ever mowed the grass and found a car. (from DreamJLE)

. . . you have more than 3 family members by the name of Billy Bob. (from Rebel6869)

. . . you swallow a minnow just to impress the lady cashier at the local bait shop. (from cbreeze22)

. . . you flick rubber bands at cock roaches. (from LTre201867)

. . . you wait all night to shoot one mouse with your grandma‘s BB gun. (from LTre201867)

. . . you take your car to the repair shop to have the donut tires rotated. (from Jennifer Newman)

. . . you make change in the offering plate. (from DINOHEAD42)

. . . you can recite your vowels in one burp. (from Shannon)

. . . you practice your cow chip throwing techniques while they‘re still fresh. (from PUPPYKONIG@)

. . . you take a bag to an All-You-Can-Eat bar. (from Hendu16)

. . . you use your native language, to cuss at your kids, to cover up the fact that you are a redneck in your native country. (from butterflybady)

. . . your favorite stick is your fishing pole. (from BLUEDAZE94016734)

. . . your favorite shoes were bought at a yard sale (from BLUEDAZE94016734)

. . . your bathroom is your favorite make-out place. (from BLUEDAZE94016734)

. . . none of these jokes are making sense to you. (from BLUEDAZE94016734)

. . . you use your weed whacker as a toothpick. (from BLUEDAZE94016734)

. . . your wreath is made out of beer cans. (from BLUEDAZE94016734)

. . . you use duct tape as bikini wax. (from BLUEDAZE94016734)

. . . you learned the alphabet by eating Cambpell‘s alapahbet soup. (from BLUEDAZE94016734)

. . . your engine is duct-taped to your car. (from BLUEDAZE94016734

. . . your outhouse is in your front yard. (from BLUEDAZE94016734)

. . . you wear your Mom‘s dress that she wore at her funeral. (from BLUEDAZE94016734)

. . . you clean your toilet with the tooth brush that you use every day. (from BLUEDAZE94016734)

. . . you have sheep in your backyard because they never, ever tell. (from BLUEDAZE94016734)

. . . your favorite song is ——–Old McDonald!!!!! (from BLUEDAZE94016734)

. . . your toilet seat says “Sit Here“. (from BLUEDAZE94016734)

. . . when you were younger you sold fresh, cold pee as ice-cold lemonade. (from BLUEDAZE94016734)

. . . PMS stands for “Parent Medical System.“ (from BLUEDAZE94016734)

. . . you bathe your cat in the toilet. (from BLUEDAZE94016734)

. . . you use your shower curtain as your Prom dress. (from BLUEDAZE94016734)

. . . you use your shoe as a tobacco can. (from BLUEDAZE94016734)

. . . you use your water gun as a shower sprayer. (from BLUEDAZE94016734)

. . . you use your boxers as a surrender flag. (from BLUEDAZE94016734)

. . . your trasportaion is your boat. (from BLUEDAZE94016734)

. . . your favorite place is your deerstand. (from BLUEDAZE94016734)

. . . you think dingle berries are a fruit. (from CelticRebl)

. . . you strung Christmas lights on an old truck parked in your yard. (from Thomas Smith)

. . . you give your best bud a carton of cigarrettes as a wedding gift. (from Shirley L McDonald)

. . . the tailgate on your truck is also your lawn furniture. (from RednkJeff)

. . . your at a family reuniuon, your mother-in-law goes to the bathroom and then says, “Y‘all come look at this ‘fore I flush it.“ (from Kim Y.)

. . . you had to call the police department to get your flare gun back. (from Wayne D. Maxted)

. . . you use the CD-ROM drive on your computer to hold your beer. (from SSIS87)

. . . you‘ve ever had sex in a sattelite dish. (from GTTEAMBMX)

. . . you own more than 5 trucks that you need ladders to get into. (from Angel)

. . . you have a piece of cardboard that says “No Trespassing“ beside your front door. (from HellraisernNC)

. . . your wife‘s idea of a sanitary napkin is one of your dirty work socks left beside the toilet. (from JsscStev)

. . . you always start a story with “Y‘all aint gonna believe this!“ (from RE3Freak)

. . . you think that “Winnie-the-Pooh“ is something your Granny just left on the rug. (from Muffy19234)

. . . you have three kids named: Peggy Sue, Peggy Jean, & Billy Bob. (from JGK)

. . . your truck has a variety or different make of parts (ex. Chevy radiator, Dodge starter, Ford body). (from CrazyredriderX)

. . . you eat your daily road-kill out of the same dirty bowl every night. (from Robinsaponaro)

. . . you bring home from school a certificate as “The Best Reader in the Fourth Grade“ for three years in a row.

. . . your pick-up has four new tires and none of them are the same size. (from Gaylene Cooper)

. . . you go to the bank for a loan and the loan officer asks to see the stock you have listed as collateral, so you bring in the three hogs you bought last month at the auction. (from Gaylene Cooper)

. . . your life savings is buried in your back yard. (from TEDMARIEJ)

. . . you walk the ends off your jeans instead of hemming them. (from Loki, the friendly maniac)

. . . you thought the Y2K Bug was a new species of insect. (from Mdebel22486)

. . . you thought the Sega Dreamcast was a new fishing rod. (from Mdebel22486)

. . . you buy your china as a grocery store special every week. (from MIRALLY)

. . . your neighbor uses left-over house paint to paint his car. (from JAY W.GUYER)

. . . you use mason jars to make lamps. (from JAY W.GUYER)

. . . your grandma gives you a wedding present wrapped in christmas paper. (from JAY W.GUYER)

. . . you can see all your family members when you‘re in your own bed. (from JAY W.GUYER)

. . . your dad guts one of the old TV‘s for a another knick-knack shelf. (from JAY W.GUYER)

. . . you think beef stroganoff is when the bull is playing with himself. (from EJASpfld)

. . . the other 13 trailers out back of yours belong to your children and their families. (from Adrian Everett)

. . . all you want for Christmas is deer pee. (from Nick English)

. . . your 2-year old has more teeth than you do. (from Lane007Fan)

. . . your dog can smoke a cigarette. (from Lane007Fan)

. . . you think “Old Yeller“ refers to your brother‘s tooth. (from Lane007Fan)

. . . you have a house that‘s mobile and 16 cars that aren‘t. (from Lane007Fan)

. . . you have more than 4 vehicles up on blocks in your yard. (from Lane007Fan)

. . . you buy a padded headboard to practice safe sex. (from Vern Dutta)

. . . you spray-painted your dog hunters orange to, “make him look more decent like.“ (from Dave Simons)

. . . you‘ve been on TV more than 5 times describing what the tornado sounded like. (from Bak2525)

. . . your best laundry bag is made by Hefty. (from MARANN77)

. . . you‘re going up the highway and hear a kid ask his mom if he can get out and push their car too! (from rifsm2)

. . . you‘ve ever worn a tie with a flannel shirt. (from JOSHUA SNYDER)

. . . someone accuses you of lying through your tooth. (from Scott Bender)

. . . you were allowed to drink beer and date the teacher all through high school. (from Tornaday)

. . . you painted your truck camouflage and now you can‘t find it. (from Tornaday)

. . . you‘ve ever sold your car for gas money. (from Lee Wood)

. . . you‘ve ever picked up your girlfriend in a John Deere. (from SC7886637)

. . . your wife wears tight leather and it makes her look like a re-tread. (from Gary Watts)

. . . your brother is your wife‘s favorite son. (from Bryce)

. . . your lawn mower gets better millage than your car. (from CRnuts3)

. . . you run a garden hose from outside, through a window to fill your indoor hot tub. (from John H. Richardson)

. . . your local funeral home has a drive-thru. (from Lamar Fuller)

. . . when you buy your new bride a burned down trailer and tell her you‘re gonna “fix it up a little“ (true story). (from Tommy Miller)

. . . you heard that most accidents happen within twenty miles of home, so you moved. (from Anthony & Celeste)

. . . you refer to deer hunting as a religion. (from Anthony & Celeste)

. . . you wore camoflauge to your wedding. (from Anthony & Celeste)

. . . truck drivers tell your wife to watch her language. (from Beanoeightlegs)

. . . you wear a tube top to a wedding. (from Beanoeightlegs)

. . . you think good china is China without any Chinese people. (from airman120)

. . . you use your computer as a stereo. (from Stormshopper)

. . . someone can circumcise you by kicking your little sister in the jaw. (from Shane Woods)

. . . the most common prase in your house is “someone go jiggle the handle.“ (from Shane Woods)

. . . you purposely feed the cockroaches. (from Shane Woods)

. . . you shop lift from a yard sale. (from Dunkshoot2)

. . . your uncle‘s 14 year old kid is out in the front lawn and sayin “Ai Pane Ai Pane.“ (from SailorLife2088)

. . . you itch your butt in front of your wife. (from TImboysfive)

. . . are missing a lot of teeth. (from TImboysfive)

. . . you have beer cans all over your yard. (from TImboysfive)

. . . you don‘t take a shower for a long time. (from TImboysfive)

. . . you use the word ain‘t a lot. (from TImboysfive)

. . . you miss your 5th grade graduation becasue your are called for jury duty. (from REAGAN)

. . . your sister is also your aunt. (from Oldnavyret)

. . . your toilet is a 5 gallon bucket. (from Stormshopper)

. . . you have 500 men working under you and you cut grass at the cemetery. (from JoeDebDem)

. . . you can spit tobbaco juice through the holes in your truck‘s floorboard. (from Lemans82)

. . . your sister has ever asked to borrow the backhoe. (from ADAMSBOERGOATS)

. . . somebody says, “HO DOWN“ and your wife falls to the ground!! (from Jay)

. . . you pave your parking spot just because your neighbor calls you a red neck. (from Siress24)

. . . the first thing you do in the morning is check your critter trap, and you‘re dissapointed when it is empty. (from Blondebomb0068)

. . . you scratch your butt at night and smell your hand in the morning. (from REDNECKDONI)

. . . you‘ve ever had to put on a pair of boots to go to the bathroom. (from Ketchumtrainer)

. . . your deer stand has an address. (from Ketchumtrainer)

. . . you and your dog have the same toilet. (from Ketchumtrainer)

. . . there is anyone named Cletus in your family. (from Ketchumtrainer)

. . . you‘ve ever attended a Gun and Knife show as a dealer. (from Ketchumtrainer)

. . . you have a motor swinging from a tree in your yard,a dog tied to the fence post,and someone sitting in a rocking chair that‘s over 75 and has a Remingtom 12 gauge ,a spit cup, and Copenhagen in the back pocket. (from Ketchumtrainer)

. . . you have a peeing contest with your wife and she wins. (from Whozyourdaddymac)

. . . you have a tattoo that says “I Love My Mommy“ and mommy is spelled wrong. (from Whozyourdaddymac)

. . . you shop-lift from Goodwill. (from Cody D.)

. . . your family gathers for Monday Night RAW. (from b_purple_waves_8)

. . . you know what a jockey lot is and you go more than once a week. (from TStorm)

. . . you‘ve ever used a toaster to light your cigarette. (from BuckeyesRC)

. . . you‘re on a date and you see a childhood friend and you tell your date “she is like my sister“ and that makes her worried. (from DreaFos)

. . . you refuse to shave or bathe until you‘ve bagged your first deer of the season. (from Debnhar427)

. . . your first name consists of initials. (from Debnhar427)

. . . you nick-name children “possum“ and “critter.“ (from Debnhar427)

. . . you wear camouflage pants with a plaid flannel shirt and combat boots. (from Debnhar427)

. . . you call your wife “ma“ and want her to call you “pa.“ (from Debnhar427)

. . . you own a badly made, ugly gun cabinet that you made in wood shop. (from Debnhar427)

. . . the only songs you know on guitar are Lynard Skynard songs. (from Debnhar427)

. . . Hank Williams, Jr. is your hero. (from Debnhar427)

. . . you use the word “man“ at least four times in each sentence you speak. (from Debnhar427)

. . . you carry a gun to the store “just in case the car breaks down and a stranger approaches to help.“ (from Debnhar427)

. . . you spray crawling bugs with hair spray and light them on fire with a lighter. (from Debnhar427)

. . . directions to your house include “turn off the paved road“ (from Megamuff927)

. . . you exclaim “Whoo, Doggy , tell ya what!!“ when you see your coon hound have pups on your living room floor. (from PhoneGrrl21)

. . . you have ever used spit tobacco as a fish attractant. (from RGrycki)

. . . you call toilet paper a leaf and a toilet a bucket. (from Sephroth01)

. . . you have used a rag as a gas cap. (from PLUMBINGuy)

. . . your 5 year old calls your mother MOM and YOU Debbie. (from PLUMBINGuy)

. . . your own farts don‘t seem to smell so bad. (from PLUMBINGuy)

. . . you know exactly how long it takes for pizza to get fuzzy in the fridge. (from PLUMBINGuy)

. . . you have an aunt-mom and uncle dad. (from PLUMBINGuy)