Its All About Jokes

The visiting Bible school supervisor asks little Johnny during Bible class, ‘Who broke down the walls of Jericho?‘

Little Johnny replies, ‘I dunno, but it wasn‘t me!‘

The supervisor, taken aback by Johnny‘s lack of basic Bible knowledge goes to the school principal and relates the whole incident.

The principal replies, ‘I know Little Johnny as well as his whole family very well and can vouch for them; if Little Johnny said that he did not do it, then I, as principal is satisfied that it is the truth.‘

Even more appalled, the inspector goes to the regional Head of Education and relates the whole story…

After listening he replies: ‘I can‘t see why you are making such a big issue out of this; just get three quotes and fix the damned wall!‘

Little Johnny walked into the kitchen, saw his mother making a cake and announced, ‘I‘m gonna go play in my room for a couple of hours. I sure would like a piece of cake after though!

Later, when his mother brought him a piece of cake, Little Johnny exclaimed, ‘Wow!, it worked!‘

Puzzled, his mother asked, ‘What do you mean?‘

Little Johnny replied, ‘Daddy said that in order to get a piece around here, you have to spend a couple of hours playing
first!‘

Little Johnny comes running into the house and asks, ‘Mommy, can little girls have babies?‘
‘No,‘ says his mom, ‘of course not.‘
Little Johnny runs back outside yelling to his friends,
‘It‘s okay, we can play that game again!‘

Little Johnny comes home from his first day of school. His mother asks, ‘What did you learn in school today?‘

Little Johnny replies, ‘Not much. They want me back tomorrow.

Summer was over and the teacher was asking the class about their holidays. She turned to little Johnny and asked what he did over the Summer.

‘We visited my grandmother in Minneapolis, Minnesota,‘ he said.

‘That sounds like an excellent vocabulary word,‘ the teacher
said, ‘Can you tell the class how you spell that?‘

Little Johnny thought about it and said, ‘Come to think of
it, we went to Iowa.‘

The Sunday School Teacher asks, ‘Now, Johnny, tell me frankly do you say your prayers before eating?‘

‘No sir,‘ little Johnny replies, ‘I don‘t have to. My Mom is a good
cook.‘

A Sunday School teacher was telling the children that God created everything, including human beings.

Little Johnny became fascinated when the teacher told him how Eve was made out of one of Adam‘s ribs.

Later that week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were in pain, and asked, Johnny, what‘s the matter sweetie? Little Johnny replied, ‘I have a pain in my side! I think I‘m going to have a wife!‘

Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question:

‘Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left ?‘ ‘None.‘, replied Johnny. ‘cause the rest would fly off.‘

‘The correct answer is four,‘ said the teacher. ‘But I like your thinking.‘

Little Johnny said, ‘I have a question for you now. If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop, one licking her cone, the second biting her cone, and the third one sucking her cone, which one is married ?

Well,‘ said the teacher nervously, ‘I guess the one sucking her cone?‘

‘No,‘ said Little Johnny, ‘The one with the wedding ring on her finger. But I like the way you think!‘

Little Lucy was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class.

One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, ‘Tell me, Lucy, who created the universe?‘ When Lucy didn‘t stir, Little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear.

‘God Almighty! ‘ shouted Lucy and the teacher said, ‘Very good,‘ and Lucy fell back asleep.

A while later the teacher asked Lucy, ‘Who is our Lord and Savior?‘ But, Lucy didn‘t even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again.

‘Jesus Christ!‘ shouted Lucy and the teacher said, ‘Very good,‘ and Lucy fell back asleep.

Then the teacher asked Lucy a third question. ‘What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child? And again, Johnny Jabbed her with the pin. This time Lucy jumped up and shouted,

‘If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I‘ll break it in half!‘

Little Johnny sees his father‘s car passing the playground and go
into the woods. Curious, he follows the car and sees his father and his aunt Jane ‘hugging‘ in the parked vehicle.

Johnny finds this very exciting and can barely contain himself so he runs home and starts to tell his mother,

‘I was at the playground and I saw daddy‘s car go into the woods with aunt Jane. I went to look for them and I saw daddy giving aunt Jane a big kiss, then he helped her take off her shirt, then aunt Jane helped daddy take his pants off, then aunt Jane lay down on the seat, then daddy…‘

At this point, Johnny‘s mother cut him off and said, ‘Johnny, this is such an interesting story. Suppose you save the rest of it for suppertime. I want to see the look on daddy‘s face when you tell it tonight.‘

At the dinner table, Johnny‘s mother asks him to tell his story, so Johnny starts to talk, describing the car into the woods, the undressing, laying down on the seat, and…

‘…then daddy and aunt Jane did that same thing mommy and uncle Richard used to do when daddy was in the army.‘