Its All About Jokes

Q. What goes up and down but doesn‘t move?

A. The temperature!

Q. What two days of the week start with the letter ‘T‘?

A. Today and Tomorrow!

Q. Which weighs more, a ton of feathers or a ton of bricks?

A. Neither, they both weigh a ton!

Q. What has four eyes but can‘t see?

A. Mississippi!

There were three little boys visiting their grandparents.

The oldest came out and asked his grandpa, “Can you make a sound

like a frog, Grandpappy?

Grandpa (being in a kind of ill mood) responds, “No, I don‘t really

want to make the sound of a frog now.“

So, the second little boy comes out and asks his grandfather, “Will

you please make a sound like a frog?“

Grandpa again says, “No, not now. I don‘t really want to do that.

I‘m in a grumpy mood. Maybe later.“

Then the third little boy comes out and says, “Grandpa, oh please…

Please, please will you make a sound like a frog?“

“Why do all of you boys want me to make a sound like a frog?“ Grandpa

asked.

The little boy replied with a hopeful face, “Well, Mom said that when

you croak we get to go to Disney World!“

Son: Dad, what is an idiot?

Dad: An idiot is a person who tries to explain his ideas in such a strange and long way that another person who is listening to him can‘t understand him. Do you understand me?

Son: No.

The child comes home from his first day at school.

His Mother asks, “Well, what did you learn today?“

The kid replies, “Not enough. They want me to come back tomorrow.“

“Dad, can you write in the dark?“

“I think so. What is it you want me to write?“

“Your name on this report card.“