Jewish Jokes Collection
Favorite movie rentals for the Chanukah holiday
Three Men And A Bubbie
A Few Hood Mentches
The Cohenheads
The Rocky Hora Picture Show
Shalom Alone
Goyz ‘N The Hood
A Gefilte Fish Called Wanda
The Wizard Of Oys
Who Framed Roger Rabbi?
Prelude To A Briss
The end
Moishe had just had a medical check up. ‘I hate to be the one to break it to you,‘ said the doctor, ‘but you‘ve only got about 6 months to live.‘
‘Oh my God‘ gasped Moishe, turning white.
A few minutes later, after the news had sunk in, Moishe said, ‘Doctor, you‘ve known me a long time. Do you have any suggestions as to how I could make the most of my remaining months?‘
‘Have you ever married?‘ asked the doctor.
Moishe replied that he had been a bachelor his whole life.
‘You might think about taking a wife,‘ said the doctor, ‘after all, you‘ll need someone to look after you during the final illness.‘
‘That‘s a good point,‘ said Moishe, ‘and with only 6 months to live I better make the most of my remaining time.‘
‘May I make one more suggestion?‘ asked the doctor, ‘marry a Jewish girl.‘
‘A Jewish girl? Why?‘ asked Moishe.
‘It‘ll seem longer.‘
Borrowed Pie Pan
While my wife was out of town, our rabbi‘s wife borrowed a fancy pie pan. It was returned a few days later filled with an apple pie. When my wife asked where the pie came from, I told her it was baked by our rabbi‘s wife, who said she never returns something without filling it up.
‘Good, you should let her borrow our checkbook,‘ she replied.
What do you call steaks ordered by ten Jewish men?
Q: What do you call the steaks ordered by ten Jewish men?
A: Fillet minyan.