Its All About Jokes

Whats worse than shit on Olivia Newton Johns face?

Cum on Eileen.

What‘s the difference between roast beef and pea soup?

Anyone can roast beef.

This day holds a lot of meaning for me. It was on this day two years ago
that I lost my dear wife and children.

I‘ll never forget that game of cards…

What is black and sits at the top of a set of stairs?

A quadraplegic in a house fire.

How do you cook vegatables in the microwave ?

Take them out their wheelchair.

Gross is having to tuck your hemorrhoid into your sock so you won‘t step on
it when you walk.

What‘s sicker than sick?

masturbating with your grandma‘s ashes under your foreskin….

What is old, wrinkled, and hangs out your underwear?

Your Mother…

How do you get a one armed MAN out of a tree?

Wave at him.

A ventriloquist was driving in the country when he was attracted to a
large farm. He asked for and was given a tour.
As he was shown through the barn, the ventriloquist thought he‘d have
some fun. He proceeded to make one of the horses talk.
The hired hand, wide-eyed with fear, rushed from the barn to the
farmer. ‘Sam,‘ he shouted, ‘those animals are talking! If that sheep
says anything about me, it‘s a damned lie!‘