Its All About Jokes

Burning Bush

Thousands of people flock to the annual Burning Man festival in The Black Rock Desert north of Reno, Nevada.
At this big hippie festival, people run around naked, drink and do drugs, or as George W. Bush likes to call it, get ready to run for President.

Bush and Son

A reporter cornered George W. Bush at a press conference:
‘Many say the only reason you were elected for President is due to the enormous power and influence of your father.‘

‘That notion is ridiculous!‘ mocked George Jr. ‘It doesn‘t matter how powerful the man is. He was only allowed to vote once!‘

Osama in the Holy Land

Why did Osama bin Laden visit Mount Sinai?
He wanted to see the burning Bush.

Respecting the First Lady

George W. Bush walks into a restaurant in Washington DC with his wife Laura. The waiter approaches the table and asks for his order.
‘I‘ll have your biggest, juiciest London Broil,‘ answers the President.

‘But sir, what about the mad cow?!!‘ asks the waiter.

‘Oh,‘ answers Dubya, ‘she‘ll order for herself.‘

Whitehouse Parrot

A man walks up to the whitehouse and shouts to the guard, ‘I‘d like to speak to Bill Clinton, the President.‘
The guard replies, ‘Bill Clinton is no longer the President of the United States. George Bush is the President.‘

After this happens three days in a row, the guard yells in disgust, ‘I told you Bill Clinton is no longer the President. George Bush is the President of the United States.

The guy says, ‘I know. I just like hearing it!‘

George W. Bush was caught breaking

George W. Bush was caught breaking the White House dress code by wearing blue jeans.
Bill Clinton responded by saying, ‘ I never broke the dress code. I just didn‘t wear pants at all.‘

Bush and Bill

Out of Bill Clinton and George W. Bush, which one do you think has been referred to as Mr. Bush more often?

Jenna and Barbara‘s Companion

Q: Who were Jenna and Barbara Bush with when they got caught by the police?
A: Their uncle Anheuser

If you cannot find Osama, bomb Iraq.
If the markets are a drama, bomb Iraq.
If the terrorists are frisky,
Pakistan is looking shifty,
North Korea is too risky,
Bomb Iraq.

If we have no allies with us, bomb Iraq.
If we think that someone‘s dissed us, bomb Iraq.
So to hell with the inspections,
Let‘s look tough for the elections,
Close your mind and take directions,
Bomb Iraq.

It‘s pre-emptive non-aggression, bomb Iraq.
To prevent this mass destruction, bomb Iraq.
They‘ve got weapons we can‘t see,
And that‘s all the proof we need,
If they‘re not there,
they must be there,
Bomb Iraq.

If you never were elected, bomb Iraq.
If your mood is quite dejected, bomb Iraq.
If you think Saddam‘s gone mad,
With the weapons that he had,
And he tried to kill your dad,
Bomb Iraq.

If corporate fraud is growin‘, bomb Iraq.
If your ties to it are showin‘, bomb Iraq.
If your politics are sleazy,
And hiding that ain‘t easy,
And your manhood‘s getting queasy,
Bomb Iraq.

Fall in line and follow orders, bomb Iraq.
For our might knows not our borders, bomb Iraq.
Disagree? We‘ll call it treason,
Let‘s make war not love this season,
Even if we have no reason,
Bomb Iraq.

Iraq has intercepted a phone call between George Bush and Colin Powell. A
partial transcript follows:

Powell: Mr. President?
Bush: Yeah.
Powell: I have to talk to you.
Bush: Yeah.
Powell: We intercepted a conversation on the telephone, sir.
Bush: A wuzzat?
Powell: The telephone.
Bush: What‘s a telephone?
Powell: My god, sir, you‘re talking on the telephone right now, sir.
Bush: Yeah . . . who is this?
Powell: (groan)