Its All About Jokes

A well respected Doctor and his wife were having drinks in the lobby of the theater during the opening nite of a musical during

intermission. A blonde shimmied by that had to have had what there was of her evening gown spray painted on her curvy body.

She smiled and gushed, “Well, hello there Doc.“ and kept right on going.

After a moment‘s pause, the good doctor looked at his wife and said, “Don‘t worry dear, that‘s just a young lady I know

professionally.“

Without missing a beat, his wife asked, “Hers (profession) or Yours ?“

A blonde, wanting to earn some extra money, decided to hire herself out as a “handy-woman“ and started canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house, and asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do.

“Well, I guess I could use somebody to paint my porch,“ he said, “How much will you charge me?“

The blonde quickly responded, “How about $50?“ The man agreed and told her that the paint and everything she would need were in the garage.

The man‘s wife, hearing the conversation, said to her husband, “Does she realize that our porch goes all the way around the house?“

He responded, “That‘s a bit cynical, isn‘t it?“

The wife replied, “You‘re right. I guess I‘m starting to believe all those ‘dumb blonde‘ jokes we‘ve been getting by e-mail lately.“

A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.

“You‘re finished already?“ the husband asked.

“Yes,“ the blonde replied, “and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats.“

Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the $50.00 and handed it to her.

“And by the way,“ the blonde added, “it‘s not a Porch, it‘s a Lexus.“

A blonde had just gotten a new sports car and was out for a drive when she accidentally cut off a large truck. The driver was outraged and was eventually able to make her pull over. He got out of his truck and pulled a piece of chalk from his pocket. He drew a circle on the side of the road and gruffly commanded to the blonde in his most threatening voice, “Stand in that circle and DON‘T MOVE!“

He then went to her car and cut up her leather seats.

When he turned around she had a slight grin on her face, so he said, “Oh you think that‘s funny? Watch this!“

He gets a baseball bat out of his truck and breaks every window in her car.

When he turns and looks at her she has a smile on her face.

Now he‘s getting really mad. He gets his knife back out and slices all her tires.

Now she‘s laughing.

The truck driver is really starting to lose it. He goes back to his truck and gets an extra can of diesel fuel, pours it on her car and sets it on fire.

He turns around and she is laughing so hard she is about to fall down.

“What‘s so funny?“ the truck driver asked the blonde.

She replied, “Every time you weren‘t looking, I stepped outside the circle!“

A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer, who was also a blonde.

The cop asked to see the blonde‘s driver‘s license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated.

“What does it look like?“ she finally asked.

The policewoman replied:

“It‘s square and it has your picture on it.“

The driver finally found a square mirror, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman.

“Here it is“ she said.

The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying:

“If you had told me you were a police officer when I first pulled you over, we could have avoided this whole thing!“