Its All About Jokes

Why was the monster standing on his head at the birthday party? He heard they were having upside-down cake!

Charley wanted to buy Farley a birthday cake, but he couldn‘t figure out how to get the cake in the typewriter so he could type ‘Happy Birthday‘

Something happened to me yesterday that will never, ever, happen to me again. How can you be so sure? I was 10 years old yesterday.

Fred: I was going to buy you a handkerchief for your birthday. Betty: That was a kind thought. But why didn‘t you? Fred: I couldn‘t find one big enough for your nose.

How old were you on your last birthday? Eight. And how old will you be on your next birthday? Ten. Oh, I don‘t think that‘s possible. Oh, yes it is – I‘m nine today.

Will you come to my party on Saturday? Yes, please, What‘s the address? 25 The High Street. Just push the bell with your elbow. Why with my elbow? Well, you won‘t be empty-handed, will you!

A St. Louis mother telephoned the capital building over in Jefferson City and asked to speak to the game warden. After being switched from office to office, a voice finally said, ‘Hello.‘ ‘Are you the game warden?‘ she asked. ‘Yes.‘ ‘Finally Ah‘ve got the right person!‘ she said. ‘Could yaw‘l gimme some help with my son‘s birthday party?‘

I‘ve been shopping for my wife‘s birthday present. What did you get her? A bottle of expensive toilet water. It cost 20. 20! Why didn‘t you come to my house – you could have had some of ours for free!

Fred: Do you like the dictionary I bought you for your birthday? Harry: Sure. It‘s a great present but I just can‘t find the words to thank you enough.

Sam‘s girlfriend‘s birthday was the same day as his father‘s. He bought his girlfriend a bottle of perfume and his father a pistol. He wrapped the perfume and wrote a note to his girlfriend, saying, ‘Use this all over yourself and think of me.‘ Unfortunately he put the note on his father‘s present.