Its All About Jokes

There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.

Chuck Norris invented Kentucky Fried Chicken‘s famous secret recipe,

with eleven herbs and spices. But nobody ever mentions the twelfth

ingredient: Fear.

Chuck Norris doesn‘t go hunting…. CHUCK NORRIS GOES KILLING

The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.

Chuck Norris uses pepper spray to spice up his steaks.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris

once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle

was six feet tall and had learned karate.

Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.

Chuck Norris has two speeds. Walk, and Kill.

If Chuck Norris were a calendar, every month would be named like Chucktober

Chuck Norris brushes his teeth with a mixture of iron shavings, industrial paint remover, and wood-grain alcohol.

Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesn‘t believe in Germany.

The quickest way to a man‘s heart is with Chuck Norris‘ fist.

Nagasaki never had a bomb dropped on it. Chuck Norris jumped out of a plane and punched the ground.

When Chuck Norris talks, everybody listens. And dies.

What was going through the minds of all of Chuck Norris‘ victims before they died? His shoe.

Chuck Norris is ten feet tall, weighs two tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing.

Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

There is endless debate about the existence of the human soul. Well it does exist, and Chuck Norris finds it delicious.

Guns don‘t kill people. Chuck Norris kills People.

Nothing can escape the gravity of a black hole, except for Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris eats black holes. They taste like chicken.

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.

Chuck Norris once pulled out a single hair from his beard and skewered three men through the heart with it.

Chuck Norris doesn‘t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

Chuck Norris CAN divide by zero.

The chief export of Chuck Norris is Pain.

When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn‘t get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.

Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11…. a suicide.

In Pamplona, Spain, the people may be running from the bulls, but the bulls are running from Chuck Norris.

If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.