Christmas Treats Twas the month after Christmas, and al |

Christmas Jokes

	Christmas Treats Twas the month after Christmas, and al
	Christmas Treats 'Twas the month after Christmas, and all through the house Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse. The cookies I'd nibbled, the eggnog I'd taste At the holiday parties had gone to my waist. When I got on the scales there arose such a number! When I walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber). I'd remember the marvelous meals I'd prepared; The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared, The punch and the candy, the bread and the cheese And the way I'd not said, 'No thank you, please.' As I dressed myself in my husband's old shirt And prepared once again to do battle with dirt--- I said to myself, as I only can 'You can't spend a winter disguised as a man!' So--away with the last of the sour cream dip, Get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip Every last bit of food that I like must be banished 'Till all the additional ounces have vanished. I won't have a cookie--not even a lick. I'll want only to chew on a long celery stick. I won't have hot biscuits, or corn bread, or pie, I'll munch on a carrot and quietly cry. I'm hungry, I'm lonesome, and life is a bore--- But isn't that what January is for? Unable to giggle, no longer a riot. Happy New Year to all and to all a good diet!
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